“I would rather be a little nobody than to be an evil somebody.” — Abraham Lincoln

Have you ever been bullied? I bet you have. Everyone at least once in their life, has faced a bully.

Bullying affects people of all personalities, not just those who are shy or different. Even outgoing and popular individuals can become targets. It’s important to understand that bullying happens because of the bully’s behavior, not because of the victim’s.

Throughout my life, I have encountered bullies on several occasions, just like many others. Bullying is difficult to escape, as it can happen at various stages of life — in school, at work, within social circles, or even in neighborhoods. Bullies are omnipresent, and encountering one is almost inevitable. I have faced multiple bullies at different stages of my life, and I anticipate encountering more in the future.

The fear of not knowing how to deal with bullies can be paralyzing, leading to anxiety, panic attacks, and, tragically, depression or even suicide. I want to prevent these negative outcomes. There is nothing inherently wrong with those who experience bullying. Bullies themselves are individuals with psychological issues, low self-esteem, possible PTSD, and a tendency toward cruelty.

In this series of five short stories, I will recount my personal experiences with bullying, emphasizing how I coped and developed transformative strategies. Each story will present a lesson I learned and a strategy I employed to effectively counteract bullying.

By sharing my story, I hope to empower others facing similar challenges, offering practical insights and strategies that can be applied in similar situations.

Lesson nr. 1 — Step out of your comfort zone and make as many friends as you can

During my childhood, I had the blessing of having my parents by my side every day, both at home and at school. We lived in a small town with a population of around 10,000 people. My mother was my first-grade teacher, and I had the privilege of being in her class for four years. You know that saying “Your first teacher is like your second mom”, well for me my teacher was literally my mom.

Then, as I moved on to the next school stage, my father became my math teacher. He was exceptional in his role and even held the position of school president. With my parents as teachers, I felt safe and respected. Nobody dared to say a bad word or act impolitely towards me.

However, everything changed when my family decided to relocate to the biggest city. Suddenly, I no longer had my parents’ support at school. I found myself alone, facing new people and situations without knowing how to handle them. I was 10.

On the first day in my new school, I noticed some classmates ignoring me, while others approached me with friendliness. However, there were also those who started spreading rumors and calling me names behind my back. Initially, I didn’t take it seriously, thinking it was normal. But it gradually worsened, especially with two boys who constantly shouted insults and called me “peasant”. They even attempted to embarrass me by pulling on my skirt, which left me traumatized. I started skipping school, crying every morning, but I kept it hidden from my family as many bullied children do.

To endure their attacks, I remained silent, kept my head down, and cried in the corner of the classroom. I eventually moved to the back of the class and sat with another bullied girl who was quiet and kind. Although she wasn’t afraid to respond to their insults, it only made things worse. I wondered why they targeted her and not someone else. It became clear that she lacked friends, despite her courage to stand up for herself.

That’s when I realized if I wanted to shut down the bullies, I needed to make friends — lots of them. Although I was shy, I had a sense of humor. So I used that to attract people and make them like me. It worked, and I made many new friends. As a result, the bullies lost their power and later even tried to be kind to me. I knew that having friends meant having support and protection. Bullies are cowards and would never approach those who are surrounded by friends. They target newcomers because they are unfamiliar with the place and lack a support system. So keep in mind, if you find yourself in a new place, the first thing to do, is to try and make new friends.

Lesson nr. 2 — Express your emotions via artistic freedom. Create, create, create.

One thing that bullied people has in common, especially kids, is keeping everything to themselves. This stress creates a vortex of pain, stress, anxiety, and self-loathing feeling. Do never keep those feelings in you. Release them.

The best way to do that is by expressing them through art. Let me tell you my story.

The next encounter with bullies happened during my teenage years, and high school felt like a hornet’s nest. It wasn’t just the hormonal roller coaster that made me feel confused, agitated, scared, anxious, and impulsive. I had to battle demons both within myself and in my surroundings.

As I entered high school, I lost many of my previous friends and had to make new ones. I believed that having a lot of friends would protect me from bullying, right? But high school doesn’t always play fair. While I made new friends, everyone was dealing with their own struggles and lacked the confidence to stand up for themselves or others. I still felt alone. A few bullies found an easy target in me and started attacking. They called me ugly and made me believe I was unattractive. I tried hiding from them by wearing baggy clothes, hoping they would forget about me. However, that only fueled their fire. They called me the ugliest girl in school, shouted hurtful things, and even suggested that I should end my life. They left nasty notes on my desk, filled with terrible words.

Although it broke my heart, it didn’t break my spirit. I decided to show them that their words meant nothing to me because they were insignificant. Every day, after returning from school, I immersed myself in music, books, poetry, and art. I explored various artistic fields, even if I wasn’t particularly skilled. Art gave me freedom, and inspiration, and transformed me into a better version of myself. I regained my self-confidence and became a source of inspiration for my classmates. I changed my hairstyle to resemble a unique galactic punk rock alien. I dressed in vibrant colors, sewed my own clothes, and embraced the weird. My poetry, sketches, funny book quotes, and short stories spread throughout the school, and everyone wanted to be my friend. I discarded the baggy clothes and started wearing new ones. People complimented me, and I began to feel more sensual and feminine. Everyone greeted me, praised my art, and acknowledged my talents. I wasn’t a naturally gifted artist, but I became one through sheer will and persistence. The bullies were long gone, hidden somewhere in the shadows, biting their dirty nails and admiring me from a distance.

Lesson nr. 3 — Do not engage in a confrontation. Observe and be quiet. Be the underdog.

If you’re feeling courageous and thinking, “I will scare the sh*t out of a bully if they dare to approach me. I will attack them back, and they will run away in fear.”, I’m sorry to say that you are wrong. This is how you thought you would solve the problem, didn’t you?! That would have been so easy, wouldn’t it?! Unfortunately, the aggressive response doesn’t work with bullies. Why? Because bullies are psychopaths, and the more you trigger them, the worse their assault toward you becomes.

The stupidest thing about bullies is that their logic doesn’t work, and they will try to come up with different insulting versions over time. So, during my first years of high school, I was considered ugly. But in the first years of university, (a three-month gap), I was considered way prettier than average. Can you freaking believe that?! According to a bully’s logic, I shouldn’t be both beautiful and smart at the same time, right? Blonde, tall, good-looking, and smart don’t go together, they believed. Thus, I received a new name, which was “dumb.”

The funny thing is that this time the bullies weren’t my classmates; they were my professors. Yes, you heard that right. My bullies this time wore academic robes and carried a powerful badge, that of what we all consider the elite, the intellectuals. To be more precise, there was just one bully in particular during my University years, one specific teacher who inexplicably hated me from the first class we had together. She stared at me and decided, without any explanation, to target me as her new victim.

At first, she started throwing shade at my appearance. Then she targeted me directly and never interrogated me about the lessons. She would ask anyone in the class except me. Once, I asked her very quietly why she never let me answer questions. She stated that she thought I was dumb and didn’t want to waste time with dumb students. She said that in front of the whole lecture hall.

I never said another word to that teacher. Adding friends to my list wouldn’t do anything here, nor would creating amazing art. She wouldn’t care. What should I do, I asked myself. The only thing I could do was to stay quiet. To resist the temptation to clap back at her. My grades were excellent in all subjects, and I didn’t want to ruin my reputation and risk not passing that course just because I would fight her. She was way more powerful than me. Fighting her wouldn’t bring any good to me, but staying quiet would. I decided the only way I could shut down that bully was to outperform her in her own subject. I would keep quiet, stay calm, and learn her subject. I would surprise her like an underdog. She would be shocked by my results, and it would be a victory for me.

I endured her bullying until we arrived at the finals. Luckily for me, she decided to conduct the test with anonymous codes instead of names. We were given codes to write on our answer sheets instead of our names. The results of the test were shocking for the entire class. There was only one A+++. I checked my code. That A+++ belonged to me. I was the only one among 13,000 students to receive such a high grade. I couldn’t help but smile. I was so eager to see her face when she would find out that she had awarded the highest grade to the student she had called dumb for an entire year.

My moment of triumph was inexplicable. She entered my class and asked the person who received the best grade to stand up. Luckily for me, she had amnesia and couldn’t remember my name. When I stood up, her jaw dropped to the floor, and her eyes widened in disbelief. After a few seconds of silence, with a pale face, she climbed up the stairs, reached my desk, and shook my hand. “Congratulations,” she said, “you’re the best student I’ve ever had.” My response was simple: “I know!” She left, but I couldn’t hide the joy of that victory. Not only did I shut down a bully, but I also gained sympathy, respect, and admiration from my peers and other professors.

Lesson nr. 4 — Ignore them. Be resilient.

I didn’t face any bullies for a good number of years since then. I faced the working market, got jobs, and continued my life in peace, until that one day. I was working for an amazing company with a great culture and nice colleagues, all very kind and educated. I never imagined leaving that company until I received an offer. The HR of another company wrote me a message on LinkedIn and was interested in offering me a job in the company’s marketing department that would accelerate my career with a snap of the fingers. The company I received the offer from is one of the most notorious brands in the history of the world, internationally acclaimed, and the most well-known brand globally. It was an opportunity to put its name on my resume. I asked around and received negative feedback about the company’s culture and the hostility between peers. However, I didn’t care. I was eager to expand my knowledge and experience and thought I could easily overcome any obstacle that would come my way. So, I accepted the offer.

The reality turned out to be very different from what I had expected. From the first day at that job, I became the target of a bully, and not just an ordinary one. The most dangerous kind. The kind that doesn’t stop at psychological harassment but potentially resorts to physical attacks. I had never faced such a bully before.

During my first week of the new job, all the women workers went to celebrate International Women’s Day. The company had organized a party, and I sat at a table with my coworkers from my department. Suddenly, a woman from another department appeared out of nowhere and sat at our table. She asked me my name and then about the job position I was holding. I told her I was a brand manager, and she burst out laughing, attracting everyone’s attention. She said that I could never hold that position for long because it was meant for her friend who held a lower position than mine. She claimed that I didn’t have the capacity or capabilities to hold such a position and advised me to reconsider before it was too late. I smirked and asked if she was serious. That’s when she grabbed a knife from the table and threatened to stab me if I asked her any more stupid questions like that. I was shocked and asked her if she was drunk. She became furious and was ready to attack me for real, but two of her coworkers rushed towards her and restrained her. Meanwhile, one of my coworkers escorted me outside while the woman continued to scream and curse at me. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me.

My coworker suggested that I never clap back at the psycho woman. She had been assaulting and harassing newcomers for the past ten years, and nobody had done anything about it. I asked her what I should do, and she replied, “I don’t know. You’re going to be in big trouble. That woman will give you no rest until you resign.” I questioned why the HR manager, who witnessed everything, wasn’t doing anything about it. She explained that apparently, the psycho woman was good at her job, and the company didn’t care about her behavior and harassment as long as she produced good reports and achieved great results.

I didn’t even know that woman. I didn’t know her name and had never seen her before in my life. Why would someone threaten to kill me in my first week on the job just because I got the position? It didn’t make any sense, did it? As I mentioned before, bullies don’t operate on logic. They work on intuition and target their prey based on certain qualities. In my case, the quality was that I was a newcomer.

After that day, for over four months, I endured psychological harassment every day from that woman. She would show up in my department’s office and shout insults and make accusations, seemingly talking to my colleagues but indirectly referring to me as “the stranger.” She insinuated that I had stolen her phone (which made no sense), only to show up the next day with her phone in her hands, stating that I couldn’t have stolen it because I was a “retard.” She never directly accused me or used my name, making it impossible for me to officially complain about her. Firstly, she had her back covered by HR, and secondly, I had no proof that she was referring to me as “the stranger.”

The only thing I could do was to give my resignation, but I refused to do that. I loved the job, the brand, and working with international colleagues. I was learning so much, and I knew I would have more opportunities for professional growth if I stayed. Moreover, the job market was tough, and finding another job quickly seemed nearly impossible.

I didn’t know how to cope with that particular bully. She was different from any other bully I had encountered before. I had to endure her presence, her words, her energy until I found a solution. I cried in the bathroom every single day but put on a strong facade as if everything was fine. However, that endurance came at a cost to my health. I was diagnosed with high-stress syndrome, which caused severe abdominal pain and sudden drops in energy, leading to fainting spells. My family kept pressuring me to resign and begged me to leave that job for my own sake, but I refused. I made a promise to myself that I would never let any bully win. I was determined to destroy that bully.

So, I stayed and came up with an idea to shut down that psycho. Whenever she showed up at my office, I would plug in my headphones and focus on my work. I couldn’t hear anything she was saying anymore. I completely ignored her presence. I continued working and received praise from my bosses, laughing loudly, having fun, telling jokes, enjoying my time with my colleagues, and caring less about her lurking around my desk. Seeing that her attempts to provoke me were futile, the bully grew nervous and visited a few more times before eventually stopping. I was finally free. I had become resilient, enduring her assaults for some time and then ignoring her completely. Everyone thought I was impressive, tough, and strong — the only one who had defeated the bully.

From that day on, the bully avoided me like she was scared of me and, after a year, she approached me and expressed her deepest respect (a typical psycho). She believed I was the toughest and strongest person in the company. I simply thanked her and never spoke another word to her. My reputation as a tough individual quickly spread throughout the company, and I noticed that my coworkers became intimidated by my presence. I hadn’t even realized it before. I had truly become tough; it wasn’t an act. I stopped crying in the bathroom a long time ago and had transformed into a vigilant, alert person who anticipated potential attacks or traps set by various individuals and was ready to counteract at any moment. I gained a lot in that company but lost my innocence. I had grown up completely, and I felt in control.

Soon, another newcomer was hired in my department, and the cycle of bullying started all over again for the poor girl. I tried to warn and defend her, but it was impossible. That’s when I noticed something I hadn’t realized before. It wasn’t just the psycho bully in that company; the majority of the employees were worst than her. They never said a word. They enjoyed the drama but never lifted a finger to help the victims or shut the bully down. The poor girl lasted only a month, and as we continue our friendship, she still can’t contain her anger toward that company. It has been nearly a decade, but her anger still burns inside her. She never had the chance to release it and be free. In contrast, I felt calm and had found my peace. I was completely free.

Lesson nr. 5 — Leave

I endured working at that manipulative company for a couple of years, and when the market was on the rise, I started looking for another job. I received an offer from a luxury company. The boss appeared kind and humble. I accepted the offer and began working with these new exciting brands. My brands included Prada, Gucci, Carolina Herrera, Valentino, and more.

In my department, my coworkers consisted of only women, precisely nine, including my boss. The situation here was very different from any other company I had worked for. It was the most stressful situation I had ever faced, even worse than the previous one. My coworkers didn’t want to speak to me, and I still haven’t figured out why. They were bullies, and there was no reasonable explanation for their behavior. I now had to deal with not just one psycho bully, but nine of them at the same time. They formed a “mean girl squad” that would do anything to push any new person out. I would greet them and receive no response. When I asked work-related questions, they would ignore me completely. I sent numerous emails but received no feedback. They treated me as if I wasn’t there, as if I was invisible. I felt like a ghost. How can someone treat you with such malevolence? Ignoring someone to the point of making them feel invisible is the evilest thing imaginable.

I complained to my boss, and she informed me that the girls had created a hostile environment that was difficult to penetrate. However, she encouraged me not to be discouraged and to keep trying.

Having already let a famous brand ruin my health, I would not allow another one to repeat the same. Nonetheless, I gave myself two more weeks to make a decision. I was ready to face any other challenge, but I couldn’t cope with such high rejection for no reason.

The boss organized a trip to a nearby mountain location, a one-night stay. Unfortunately, she fell ill and couldn’t join, so it was just me and my “amazing” mean colleagues. However, no one spoke to me throughout the entire trip. Not a single word. When we arrived at the destination, it was pouring rain. The guide, a middle-aged woman, handed out the keys to the rooms according to her list. I was the only one without a key. She looked at me and asked, “Why aren’t you going into your room? Is everything okay?”

“I don’t have a key,” I replied. She informed me that she had given the keys to my roommates. She then provided me with the number of my room. I climbed the stairs and approached my room, but it was locked. I knocked repeatedly, calling their names, but no one opened the door. I was left standing outside my room.

It was a demeaning experience. I descended the stairs and went outside in the rain. I sat in a corner under the roof and cried a lot. Why did I go there? What was I expecting? They weren’t people; they were monsters. I couldn’t deal with such individuals. It was more challenging than anything I could handle.

The guide noticed me and came over. She inquired about the issue and proceeded with me to knock on my supposed roommates’ door. They opened it and boldly stated to my face that they didn’t want me in their room and that I wasn’t welcome.

The guide then asked me to follow her and led me to the top of the building. There was only one room there, a cozy, warm, and gorgeous room. Actually, it wasn’t just a simple room; it was a suite. She handed me the keys and said, “You’re better than them. Don’t let them defeat you.”

I spent the night in the best room in the hotel, and when I arrived at the restaurant in the morning, all of my colleagues had caught colds due to the moisture and lack of heating in their rooms. Karma, you know, it’s not a b*tch but a wonderful f*cking Queen.

As I sat down for lunch, the chairs on both sides of me were empty. None of them wanted to sit next to me. I got up to wash my hands, and when I returned, I couldn’t find my seat. They had removed my chair and placed my things on the counter. They hated me that much. FOR NO REASON. I had never felt so bad in my entire life. That was it. I had had enough.

The next day at the office, I gave my resignation. My boss, with a heavy heart, sighed and spoke truthfully. She told me that I wasn’t the first person to suffer from that type of bullying. She explained that I was the fourth person that year to quit within the first few months. Those women would do the same things they did to me and to every other person employed in the same position before me. She asked me, “What should we do? Fire them? There are nine of them. We can’t fire all the employees in the company. It doesn’t work like that.” Shortly after my departure, about two months later, she also resigned.

I’m still shocked at how far a person would go to destroy someone’s life for no actual reason, just pure malevolence. How far would a bully go?

Every time I think about those days I spent there and that terrible trip, shivers run down my spine, and a nauseating feeling grips my stomach. I couldn’t defeat those motherf*ckers. I tried every strategy based on my experience, but it seemed that nothing would work on them. They were unbreakable. It wasn’t because they were stronger than me, but because there were more of them. You can defeat one bully, but you can’t defeat nine. They were like a mushroom infection, spreading their roots all over the company. I couldn’t endure any more stress. I wouldn’t allow a career choice to destroy my health. I had done that once; I wouldn’t do it again. Some battles are meant to be abandoned and avoided. Don’t struggle for something that isn’t worth the fight. It’s better to lose a useless battle than to lose your inner peace. There is nothing with greater value than your health. The best lesson I learned from that experience is that if you can’t beat them, just leave them.

Bonus lesson: Focus on you, not on the bully.

The main lesson I got from all of this is to focus on improving myself and not divert my attention to the bullies. By enhancing my talents, skills, and traits, I become the best version of myself and found my happiness. That’s our goal in life. Improve your outgoing skills, even if you’re an introvert. Enhance your creative abilities, even if you believe you have no talent. Concentrate on your mental stability and develop your capacity for patience and calmness. Enhance your observation skills and strive to become the underdog. By doing so, you will become much more powerful than anyone else in the room. Everyone is afraid of a confident underdog, and no bullies will dare to approach you.

I know there are many of you who have faced similar bullying in the past or are currently facing it. Don’t be discouraged or feel bad about yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong. You are strong and kind. You are far superior to those psychopaths.

If you encounter hardships and serious threats, and you believe you can win the fight, keep going. But don’t hold it in yourself. Seek help. Always reach out to family, friends, or professionals and talk to them. Tell them what is bothering you. Don’t hold that grudge in you. It can destroy you.

If you think it’s worth the fight, confront and defeat those individuals. However, if it becomes too difficult for you to handle, don’t force it. The best decision you can make is to leave. Let the individuals who behave like horrible humans continue to do so and seek your inner peace elsewhere. There is always a better place out there that needs you. Don’t waste your time, energy, and brainpower trying to open closed doors because the key to their lock has already been lost. And remember, the one meant for you is already open.