THIS "SURVIVAL THEORY" TEACHES YOU HOW TO DETECT FAKE FRIENDS, IN 7 STEPS

Easy, peasy.

In my early twenties, I had a very bad habit of trusting people easily. I wasn’t naïve. I was young and still had too much faith in humanity.

When we’re young we believe we have the power to change the world. Not that this isn’t true, in fact, if you take a look at the history of the world, all of those who started revolutions that marked epic changes and paved the road to humanity’s future, were in fact, youngsters. Then, why shouldn’t we all believe we have the power to follow in their footsteps? The answer is simple, we’re too fragile and can’t cope well with rejection. But that's another story...

As a typical millennial, I trusted people who shared the same principles, values, and vision as I. Thought that if you have these three key elements in your character, at the same level as me, then you must be way too similar to me and you must think and behave the same way as I do. But that can never be true unless you are being cloned.

We tend to view people we like with rose-colored glasses and tell ourselves continuously that this person is a great person because they share the same beliefs as us. We always tend to consider ourselves as the etalon of goodness and we measure everyone else up, comparing them to our expectations. Later on, we find out that this person actually was very different from what we thought at the beginning, and we feel estranged, disappointed, and sad. It doesn’t mean the other person is bad (it might be), and we’re Mother Theresa of Calcutta… it just means we’re different. We might share some principles, but overall, we’re two different people and we want different things in life.

There is one simple and quick way how to detect fake people, and that is by evaluating the first impression that a person gives you. It's that simple. Base your logical analysis on the first glimpse, the first day you meet a specific person. If that person gives you the feeling of being kind and honest, that's how that person really is. Trust me, this is 100% accurate. You just have to be very observant and good at reading people, to strike 100% accuracy. The first time you meet a person is the only time you can judge someone correctly because you are undressed by every feeling and opinion toward that person. You don't know them, you have no past history, memories, discussions, and situations with that person, so you can analyze them objectively. BE AWARE! I'm talking about personality traits, not appearance. Do not be a judgmental jerk, and base your findings on demographic data or look.

If you are not good at reading people, or the people you want to analyze are already in your life, then keep reading.

Every time I got disappointed by a friend or acquaintance, my mom always gave me the same advice “Don’t trust easily, and don’t give too much of yourself to people in the first stages of a new friendship/relationship”. She is right though, but for a person who still believes in the good of humanity, her theory is just too hard to apply in real life. So, I thought to myself, given the fact that I can’t and won’t see people suspiciously, maybe I can find a way and try to minimize the distress from the start of a new friendship. Maybe I can try to measure up the character of a person from the first weeks of knowing someone and value their personality so I can prevent future disappointments. I mean, you can never forestall disappointments completely, but at least minimize them.

This made me think and instinctively I came up with a theory and exercise I would do in my mind, every time I met new people. I started to realize soon that this had really helped me foresee the downfall of a friendship or relationship. This theory would get me under their skin and see things from their perspective. As a result, I would be more aware of their current and future reactions and manage my kindness investment flow toward this new relationship.

I called this theory “THE SURVIVAL THEORY” and it goes like this.

ps. Make sure to take notes.

Imagine yourself and the person you want to analyze, standing on a deserted island. It’s just you two on that island, no one else. The thing we’re going to break down is how this person is going to behave in a very vulnerable situation, in a stranded location enclosed by passive surroundings.

We know, in our everyday life our behavior is not imposed just by our character but also by exterior factors like our job, our friends and family, our settings, technology, busyness, and so on. We act based on both our inner and outer factors combined. What if we try to minimize the external factors and base our analysis only on the inner factors of a person?

In order to make a proper examination of character, we will hypothesize 7 scenarios, so we can analyze the 7 main sides of the human personality.

To measure these key behaviors, we will hypothetically put our subject (the person we’re going to study) in different situations. Let’s begin.

1- THE MANGO SCENARIO

Let’s assume you and the subject we’re analyzing, are strayed on this abandoned island for some time. You checked every part of the island and you are sure there is no way out. Time has passed and you both are feeling very hungry. You need to look for food before the night falls. So, you both agree to separate and search for food in different directions. Let’s suppose the subject has found only one mango and you are not aware of it.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) They would share their mango with you

b) They will eat the entire mango by themselves

2- THE EUCALYPTUS SCENARIO

Let’s assume you wounded your foot while looking for food, and you need some eucalyptus leaves to cure the wound so it won't get infected. The problem is that the eucalyptus plants are on the top of a hill. There is no threatening danger close by. You obviously can't walk, so the subject needs to have the goodwill to go and grab some eucalyptus for you.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) They will do everything to find that eucalyptus for you

b) They will act like they're trying, but the truth is they will not bother to find it for real.

3- THE SWIMMING SCENARIO

Let's suppose, you both start doing diving exercises to extend your capability of holding your breath underwater for up to 3 minutes. What happens is, you reach the goal, and the subject fails at just 2 minutes. It is not a competition. It is just an exercise that can do good for both of you. You are happy about your achievement and are jumping out of joy.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) They will congratulate you, be happy for you, or not care that much really

b) They will definitely not be happy for you

4- THE TARZAN SCENARIO

Let's assume that suddenly, another person appears from the forest. A stranger, that looks physically stronger than you, is familiar with the island and is way more capable than you. Think about the reaction of your subject, after being introduced to this new person.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think your subject is going to behave?

a) They will stick with you, and keep you closer than the stranger. Nothing will change.

b) They will approach the stranger and "abandon" you, cause the stranger is obviously better than you. They have better chances of surviving with them than staying with you.

5- THE PIRATES' SCENARIO

Imagine finding a treasure chest. But suddenly being attacked by pirates. You have the key to the treasure chest but won't give it to the pirates. The pirates ask, which one of you has the key? The one that tells the truth, will be set free. The one that doesn't tell, will stay with the pirates.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) They will not tell the pirates that you have the key. They will either stay with you as hostages or escape with you.

b) They will tell the pirates that you have the key and run away. They will definitely save themselves and leave you with the pirates.

6- THE ESCAPE SCENARIO

Now let’s assume you were asleep, while the subject has been searching around the island and found a way out. Maybe they discovered that the island is in fact a peninsula and you both might soon get back to civilization safely.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) They will come running to you and tell you about the way out, so you both can escape the island.

b) They will follow the way out alone, leaving you on the island.

7- THE CROCODILE SCENARIO

Let’s continue our assumption by imagining another situation. You and our subject are searching for a way out of the island and suddenly encounter a pond filled with crocodiles. Your foot slips and you hang on a thin tree branch and you could fall into the crocodile’s pond at any second.

Based on the typical behavior of this person, your intuition, or their previous similar reactions, how do you think this person is going to behave?

a) Of course they will grab your hand and save you. They're not that evil.

b) That is the best chance for them to get rid of you. They will push you.

EVALUATION

Now that you played all 7 scenarios in your mind, and taken notes of every answer, let's discuss the results.

Every scenario is associated with a specific trait.

• Mango - Kindness

• Eucalyptus - Helpfulness

• Swimming - Envy

• Tarzan - Hypocrisy

• Pirates - Trust

• Escape - Selfishness

• Crocodiles - Evilness

If you picked the answer (a) in every scenario then you're good to go, my friend. The subject that you choose to analyze, is a good person.

If you picked the answer (b) in any of the scenarios, please see on the list of traits above, what it might mean. Especially if you choose the answer (b) in the Crocodiles scenario, then "Huston, we have a problem". They're not just bad friends, but they're evil people. Keep this person as far away from you as possible.

If you picked all (b)'s then, I'm sorry for saying this to you, but you're an idiot. Jesus Christ! Are you blind?

All right, I'm not saying that this is the ultimate theory of behavior (how awesome it would be if it is), but it is a hypothetical method that will help you understand not just your friends or colleagues and the future of the relationships you have with them, but also get to understand yourself more and find out if you’re more the type of the kind-mango-bro, or the Cruella-of the crocodiles.